So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
