Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
