After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
