i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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