if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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