he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
