In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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