her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am naked and annoyed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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