I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
