the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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