On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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