CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
