I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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