You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
