I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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