2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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