The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
