And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
this is an emotional support booty call
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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