Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
