She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
