and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
