I need help removing her.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
