Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
