do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
