Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
