We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
