It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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