I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
