Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
