My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
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