So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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