Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
where does the pee come out of this thing
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
