he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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