You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
