it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
