Welp...herpes.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
