i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
