I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
