you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
