At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
