I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
