SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
