i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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