: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
