i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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