I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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