just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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