we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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