i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
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