He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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