idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
