New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
please don't ironically join a cult
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